Redneck Wedding
Submitted By: PeteTogias
Article Date: 06/03/1999
URL: http://www.goofball.com/jokes/regional/99063_redneck_wedding
Redneck Billy Joe and Redneck Mary Sue are joined in holy
matrimony. They spend their wedding night at the Motel 6
Honeymoon Suite in
Parthenon, Arkansas.
They've abstained from the big deed until this very night. Just
as Billy Joe is about to make love to his new wife for the first
time, she stops him.
"Wait, Billy Joe. I just thought you should know.. this ain't
just our first time. It's my first time ever. I'm a virgin. I
been savin' myself just for you."
"Whut you say, Mary Sue?"
"I said, I'm a virgin. One hunnert percent cherry. Just for you
on our weddin' night."
"Yore
a VIRGIN??" He asked somewhat shocked.
"That's right. Please be gentle."
"Gentle? Gentle my ass. I'm outta here!" With that, Billy Joe
pulls up his pants, and leaves his virgin bride lying alone. He
slams the door, gets in his pickup, and drives home.
"Paw! Paw! Wake up! Yore not gonna believe this!"
"Huh? Billy Joe, whut the hell you doin' here? It's 3AM on
yore weddin' night! Why the hell ain't you and that purty new
wife of yours in a
haystack somewhere doing it like
rabbits?"
"Paw, I wuz all set to do just that, when Mary Sue up and tells
me that she's a virgin!" "A VIRGIN?"
"That's right, Paw. One hunnert percent cherry. As soon as she
told me, I got the hell outta there as fast as I could!"
"Well, son, lemme tell you, you did the right thing... Cuz if
she ain't good enough fer her own fam'ly, she certainly ain't
good enough for ours!"